All successful couples go through specific stages in a relationship. From my observation and experiences, these stages are about seven.
1. The ‘I can’t spend a day without you’ stage.
It’s the initial stage in every relationship, also referred to as the ‘infatuation stage’. You call each other every time, go out frequently and can’t keep your hands off each other. You like each other so much that you actually want to eat each other like zombies in ‘The Walking Dead.’ It’s basically the sweetest stage, characterized by intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to impress each other. In this stage, both of you overlook any flaws of each other, even if the guy is a member of ISIS or the woman doesn’t even know how to boil water. You only focus on the good sides.
2. The discovery stage.
Stage two is where you start knowing each other better. You engage in lengthy conversations with your partner that stretch late into the night, and everything about your bae either intrigues you or surprises you. You talk about each other’s families, exes, likes and dislikes and other innocent secrets, and life seems so amazing and romantic.
3. The ‘war’ stage.
Let the battles begin. This stage usually forces its way into a happy romance after a few months of blissful courting. You both start seeing each other’s negative sides. You confront each other over minor conflicts and consider breaking up but the attraction is still strong so you keep it tight.
4. The ‘It’s okay’ stage.
This is the stage where you realize that your bae isn’t really who you thought they were but tell yourself ‘it’s okay’. Doubts creep in but you convince yourself to stay. You now create opinions and conclusions about each other. As the months pass by, both of you know what to expect from each other, and you make an assumption about your partner’s commitment towards the relationship.
5. The ‘I wanna change him/her’ stage.
A lot of couples break up at this stage due to the inability to compromise. This is where both of you try hard to mould each other to fit your own wants in a perfect partner. This stage is a lot about give and take, and both partners constantly try to subtly convince each other to change their behavior towards the relationship. This is a power struggle stage that can only be won through maturity.
6. The happy stage.
This is the stage where the relationship cruises along perfectly like a Mercedes Benz on Waiyaki Way. There is no doubt that you are blissfully happy with each other. When the relationship survives past stage 5, both of you will have changed equally for each other and understood each other well enough to not be troubled by anything anymore. Almost always, this is the stage when you feel like a perfect match. You may even decide to get engaged or move in together.
7. The stage of complete trust and understanding.
You both are mature and understand each other. When you fight, you find ways to solve it. You don’t rush to break up. When the sex has become bad, you find ways to fix it, you don’t cheat or leave. This is the stage when both of you love each other and trust each other completely. In this stage, both of you know the direction of the relationship and both of you are completely happy with each other and find it easy to predict each other’s behavior and decisions. You deal with any storm that comes your way and help each other in everything you do.