Many of us are not one of those people who tell our exes, “I wish you well and may you find happiness.” When I break up with a girl, I pray that she only finds men who only last two minutes in bed. I pray that she only finds a guy who can only afford to buy her chips and one sausage at Shoprite. Haha.
And I am pretty sure I am not alone on this. Many people never like seeing their exes prosper. Especially if they move on with someone better.
Here are phases we go through:
1. Deep shock and denial.
There’s just no way… let me double check this. This didn’t happen.” Unfortunately it did. And you definitely didn’t think it was going to happen before you. How could they move on so fast. I thought they loved me. I thought I was the best. I thought they would come back begging to get back together.
“What the hell? How is she in a relationship already? We just broke up.” You can feel your body heat up while your eyes just stare at the picture of you ex with their new bae. You get so angry you don’t know what to do.”And why do they look so happy? Aiiii.”
This is where you turn into Cain, sulking up at the new Abel in your ex’s life. Naturally, your thoughts are similar to these. “She is just with him for the money. Or he is just her rebound. I don’t think they love each other. Plus, he isn’t even that good looking”. Yeah, that’s right. Get it all out. Just make sure these thoughts don’t leave your house.
“Whatever.” You will just have to accept it get over it. You can’t stop him or her, you can’t blame them, and you can’t make them change their mind. The only thing you can do is let it go. The time will come when you move on too and it will be every bit as wonderful as you hope.
This is when you start doing crazy things. The thought of you never finding someone and inevitably dying alone has never been so strong. “Should I tell my best friend Lola that I love her? Or maybe I should just join Tinder. I need a new bae too.”
The emotions and the good times you spent together are going to overwhelm you. You’re probably going to think, “Did I miss the one?” or “Will I ever find someone who’s going to love me like she did?” .You will miss her soft chapatis. You will miss the smell of her perfume…etc…etc.
Ah, then nostalgia does something beautiful. Remember her habit of her applying too much makeup and smoking too much shisha? Remember when you were sick, and she didn’t call? Yes, you do. The new bae is going to endure all those bad things at some point and you can’t help but pity them.
8. Deep thinking
All the emotions aside, you now spend your time thinking about what you should really do. Should you try to fight for your former lover one more time. Should you try to get them back?
This is where you tell yourself that you need to grow up and accept what has happened. You decided to forget your ex and finally move on with your life.